Sunday, 27 September 2009

More trouble on the horizon

J00314 hmp flockton Well never let it be said that women do not have a sense of humour as Margaret Thatcher gave me a personnel invite to her latest project the detention centre or Short Sharp Shock treatment. and was it.! Long story but the nuts and bolts of it are I am waiting in a queue for a meal, Outside a bloke outside starts knocking seven bells out of his girlfriend, my mate says are you going to stop that. Well I did know who the guy was and I did not like him as it turned out so you can fill in the gaps yourselves, Now a funny quirk of street fighting is that the winner does not get a purse, He usually gets arrested.
And this is how it went when the cops turned up as I was rightly indignant about the fact one cop got seriously hurt and so did I, When all the dust settled.
Now they did not put me in prison for that but said I must do community work and pay for the window that the cop disappeared through. Well I was still indignant about the whole deal and was still nursing swollen .."well just about everything" Then they sent me to prison.
So just doing a bit of reminiscing happy days Mr Wild or scar face "been hit by a con with a tray in the mush" His mouth was about 12 inches long, gave me a good kicking for cutting up bibles and making roll ups out of them.
Mr ray "irish screw" little guy had three fingers missing con kicked a door on them "I think" Had a bad habit of holding his hand up and shouting you got five fxxxxxxx minutes . Now a small irish screw holding two fingers up and shouting five does something funny with my head , But not in Mr rays head it did not, You can fill in the rest yourselves.
Mr Dennison ex queens guards big xuck off bloke, but pretty fair, Must of had a hell of a big potato tree the following year as I tipped the whole lot of seed potatoes in one hole, "little victories" we call it.
Mr Jammieson big xuck off bloke red head "crackers" but also fair in a funny way.
Well the structure was like this cells for bad lads. 1 dorm for aspiring cons 2 dorm for likely candidates 3 dorm good boys 4 dorm model citizens. hospital wing for nonces
Well I got to One dorm albeit briefly and then it was back to the cells I still remember a lad called Dave Nelson proper hard nut decked a screw first day in but got off light as he had some sort of condition that stopped retaliation, Well not the first time but after that.
lots of good and bad memories, Some bright spark "screw" came up with the idea of a friendly game of rugby , Well that was the intention "good intentions" bad idea" Result was the hospital was full to bursting Monday morning.
Well I could go on but I will not coffee time. ps J000314 is a number I have never been able to forget for some strange reason hhmm ps the rugby was cons v cons not with the screws, I think they were too voyeuristic for that.


  1. Just a quick thought wish i was back at hmp flockton it is a womens prison now also known as new hall.. although i call it something else

  2. crazy owl..sad though for you being there in the first place..but you seem to like it hahaha